When did/do you bond with your baby?
Where you still pregnant?
Was it after birth?
Was it at the time of birth?
Just wondering...
I think I've had a hard time bonding with this baby so far because I've been so sick all the time....I'm not sure what 'normal' is as far as bonding with baby....does it happen now....was it already supposed to happen...does it happen at the birth...or after....I'm just not sure.....
Just posing the question to all of you....
Where you still pregnant?
Was it after birth?
Was it at the time of birth?
Just wondering...
I think I've had a hard time bonding with this baby so far because I've been so sick all the time....I'm not sure what 'normal' is as far as bonding with baby....does it happen now....was it already supposed to happen...does it happen at the birth...or after....I'm just not sure.....
Just posing the question to all of you....
6 Comments:
At my first full-time job, my supervisor's wife was pregnant with their first kid. When I first met her she was early into her 2nd trimester and kept refering to the baby as "it" even though they knew it was a girl. She said being able to feel the baby felt like there was an alien in there. The next time I saw her she was about 7 or 8 months along and I remeber her refering to her baby as "she" and by her name. I'm telling all this because I get the feeling it's pretty normal to not feel bonded to your baby until you get closer to your due date.
I feel more bonded as we move though the pregnancy. When my rash was at its worse I felt very little towards the baby! It has helped with bonding having as many ultrasounds as we have because getting to see him makes him real. Plus, he moves around a lot now too which is amazing and helps. Now that Adam can feel him move it is great for bonding with the three of us. I play music to the baby too and I have a double adapter that allows me to listen along with him so I feel very close to Jacob then too. And I read to him sometimes too and he moves around a lot then so all those things have helped. But I thought before I got pregnant that once I got pregnant I would fall immediately in love with this baby growing inside me. but that did not happen. I was guarded because I was afraid that something bad would happen. Around 10 weeks, once we heard the heart beat I was better. I think it's different for everyone though and whatever you are feeling is normal for you. With you being so sick its no wonder you are having some questions about bonding. Hang in there.
To be completely honest, I'm still not feeling it over here. Maybe it's because I'm convinced that one or both of the babies will never make it home, but I have a really hard time imagining them. And then, of course, I feel guilty. Oy. *hugs*
I don't remember bonding at all while I was pregnant - I mean, I knew my daughter was coming (though didn't know she was a girl until I was in labor), but I didn't get any of those headphones, and I didn't talk to her. She was just there and my daughter. The experience you are going through now is tough, but that you got through it WITH her, that is all the bonding you need. You have the rest of your life to bond in the other ways!
I don't think I started to really bond at all with Flappy until after I started feeling him move, and until after I found out the sex. I think I still feel a bit disconnected though, because like Milenka I'm still not convinced I will actually have a baby at the end of this. Most of the time I have a very hard time realizing that an actual baby is inside me! I would imagine being so sick would impair your ability to bond with the baby/pregnancy, and also make it more difficult for you to enjoy the pregnancy.
Hmmm, with my first baby? I don't remember, I think I just had no clue at all. I mean, I knew I was pregnant, I knew I was going to have a baby, I was happy, but not sure whether I really 'bonded'. It was all so abstract.
I still do remember giving birth to him and being totally amazed that there actually was a BABY! A real life baby. I mean, I knew it with my head, but reality somehow was different and more real.
Where other people see their baby and think or say 'It's a BOY!' or 'It's a GIRL!' I just said 'It's a BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'
Wonder of wonder, miracle of miracles. I think in a way he never was real to me until I actually saw him and met him outside of my womb.
Hope that makes sense, it's hard to verbalize.
Good luck! The losing weight and constant throwing up sounds sucky. And yes, it will all be worth it, but it still is sucky.
{{{{{{{ HUGS }}}}}}}}
Karen
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