crib bedding

we've decided on a crib set if we should have a boy baby :)

We plan on finding out if this is a girl or a boy....so we're hoping to have an easy time of decorating a nursery in the coming months.....we've chosen this ditty for a boys room.........still nothing at all for a girl.....because the husband is convinced we're having a boy....







on another note....
why do people ask if we've picked out or talked about names yet when all they can do when I tell them what we've come up with is knock the choice?????? I mean I could give a rats what you think of the name we are choosing for *our* baby....I think I've decided we're just not talking names to anyone......poo on everyone for giving me their "opinion" of the name choices we tossed out.....poo on you!
god.....it just irks me.......when I tell you what we're thinking of don't say "oh no, you don't want your son made fun of for the rest of his life with a name like that" or...."oh yeah I knew a he had the worst case of acnce" We are thinking over the name thing....we'll be fine.....thanks for the "advice" everyone........................

We want a strong name, and old fashioned name....that is not over used.....and that does NOT come from a book of baby names....we want the name to have a meaning...a purpose to US......we don't have anything in particular in mind yet....(ok *I* do but have yet to convince hubby they are the perfect names) anyway....that is my rant on that.....

I'm going to do my best to drop no baby names until jr. is born....and no the kid will not be a jr...............my kid is not going to be Larry! hahahha......

alive

I'm alive.
I've been really super duper tired lately :)

We had a nice weekend...short as always....however I did have to bust out the maternity clothes this weekend......I went to Motherhood to see if I could find a pair of maternity jeans....all I could find in my length was a pair of capris (which on me are long pants) so we picked those up...we also got 3 pairs of work pants and 4 more shirts to go along with the collection of clothes that my friend Danielle sent me from when she was pregnant with her little man who is now almost 1! So that's all taken care of and I should be good for the rest of this journey clothes wise.

I've been getting morning sickness like "the movies" now...instead of being really sick feeling before I throw up....I just am in the middle of doing something and I just barf....it's lovely I must say....hahahaha......but at least there's no pain before...and no pain after...so hey I'll take it!

I think it's almost time for another 'belly' shot....since I've obviously gained some weight since none of my pants want to close anymore (hence the maternity clothes shopping this weekend) so I'll probably have hubby do that tomorrow or the next day....I'm already in my jammies today....so I don't think you want to see me now! hahaha......

I have to go study for finals now....just wanted to update this blog ditty.

Thank you everyone!

Thanks to all for the wonderful thoughts and comments on my last entry.
I am so happy ;)
Last night was the first night I *had* to get up 4 times in the middle of the night to go pee! I thought to myself......welcome to pregnancy :)

It has been brought to my attention that if you turn your head to the right on my ultrasound.....my *baby* looks like a *bunny*....come on....go look :)

sorry everyone!

My work computer does not let me access this site....so sorry to keep you all in suspense!
But alas all is well! We have a little chiderlink in there!!!!
The heartbeat was at 189....no idea what a "normal" heartbeat is...but the broad said it was "excellent" So I'll take it!!!

The baby is measuring at 8 weeks 4 days instead of 9 week 1 day...but she said it's so early that the days can be off by up to 5 days...although she technically moved my due date to December 23 instead of December 19th...but I'm keeping it the 19th dammit! hahaha

anywhoozle...here is our picture :)
Sorry when I tried to resize it every time it was making it microscopic....so I just left it alone.......

the big day.....

Tomorrow is the big day.
Keep your fingers...toes....eyes...and anything else that can be crossed....crossed for us!

still here.

you know what.....
I still feel pregnant.
And dammit....I'm not losing hope.
After talking with Milenka...I came to see that the way my ultrasound was preformed was a bit lame! The ob makes you pee in a cup when you first arrive...to check for what ever it is they do when they dip that little strip in the pee.....well I had a completely empy bladder....not to mention the equipment at the ob isn't exactly state of the art.....meaning.....I am almost positive that machine is older than me.....and last but not least....I have that massive.....(read:stomach deserves own zip code) stomach so you know what......
I'm not ready for the "sorry for your loss" comments just yet.....
I've booked my ultrasound for Wednesday at the hospital and it's FIRST thing in the morning :) 7:15 is when I check in....I have to drink 24 ounces of water before going in with the last sip to be drank no later than 6:45 am.
I'm hopeful....
I have sore bb's like a motha.
so don't look at them wrong or I'll cry becuase you'll make them hurt.

dammit....there just has to be a baby in there........

I have to beleive that is the case.....for my sanity!
We'll see on Wednesday bright and early if I'm right.
I've insisted my husband join me for the visit because *if* there were to be bad news revealed to me....I could NOT take that alone. NO WAY, no how.

So the point of this entry is....I'm still feeling pregnant.
I still think I am pregnant....
and I'm not giving up hope....
dammit the ultrasound was done on an empty bladder....through layers of my belly...err...fat....and on a piece of poo poo machine......
I've got to have hope....because all of those things equal....wrong.
It was done all wrong........and I'm hoping to see a wiggly little chiderlink when I go in on Wednesday.
So I'm renewing hope for this pregnancy.....until further notice. :)

scared

I'm so scared.
No one around me understands...no one.
I'm scared, and alone.
I wish I could take this day back.
I wish my baby was there on the screen.
I wish I could stop crying.
I'm so scared.
I'm scared.
Why did I go and tell everyone I was pregnant again...
You'd think I'd have learned from my last experience.
*cries*
My heart is breaking.

I'm such a fool for beleiving....
such a fool.

appointment news

I just got back from my first ob appointment.
I got naked....
I got a pap since I was due in two months anyways...
yacked with the doc for a long while...(the midwife rather)
we went over all the important stuff...like family history...
and all that jazz....
was getting jittery...and nervous...cause next was the ultrasound....
walked to the ultrasound room....
hubby jumps up to stand next to me....
she pokes...and prods...and what not....she can't find anything....
she pokes more....and pushes soooo hard with that ditty....still nothing
we did that for no more than 3 minutes and it was over.
They found nothing.
Yeah...fabufuckinglous.
*sobs*
I have a refferal to go to the hospital and use a 'high tech' ultrasound gizmo of whatever sort there.....I'm fucking pissed. I'm so sad...dissapointed...I've been counting down to THIS day for a fucking month....and I walk home feeling like nothing more than a failure.

The hospital ultrasound (I was told) 'might be able to get me in, in as soon as 2 weeks'
woo fucking woo.
two more weeks of this shit.
fuck.

For Milenka :)

First off....I too have my doubts about the 2nd trimester being any easier sick wise....my Sister had "morning" sickness until two mother effing weeks until my nephew was born.......yeah...NO THANKS!
And about my sisters diaper website....I have nooooo clue how to link to things....so you'd have to be so kind as to do that for me..... :)
We *do* plan on finding out the gender of our little baby :) That's for sure....I'm not much for 'surprises'....we're also going to be doing a 4-d ultrasound at prenatal peek I can't freaking wait for that!!!
My first OBGYN apointment is on TUESDAY!!! I'm thrilled!
My bet is only one baby is in there....
and yours?

Hopefully this will do the trick

Last night was the worst night yet.
I wasn't able to go to bed until after 3 am.
Thanks to all the vomiting I did last night.
Yes....people....I barfed 11 fucking times last night from 11pm till about 3am...
I cried....I barfed....I cried more from the pain and agony....I barfed again....it was horrible the pain....it wasn't until the last time I barfed that I felt ANY releif from the pain...and even then my stomach was still in such twisting turning pain that I MADE myself lay down for the night and TRY and get some sleep....since I *did* have to work today....and since I had to be up for work at that point in roughly 2.5 hours...I figured that much sleep was probably better than NO sleep.....needless to say I'm freaking EXHAUSTED today.
I called the doctor last night in the middle of the night....she placed a prescription for some pregnancy safe anti nausea medicine the pharmacist was SO helpful today....such a nice man....he said (when I picked up the scrip) "first and foremost congrats on the pregnancy since I assume that's what this medicine for nausea is for" it was sweet.......and he told me he'd like me to use it as a last resort....I agreed....and he told me a lot of 'tricks' to help with nausea....first off I've purchased some seabands....wearing them now....he told me about vitamin B6 and how that can help....and also that benadryl or dramamine will also help with the nausea....so I got them all! I'm obviously trying the seabands...as I'm wearing them now....(quite the fashion statement) so yeah......I'm happy I do have the scrip....because if i *ever* have a night like I had last night again.....I'll def. take them. I don't need to be in that much pain if there is something that can help me...that's for sure.....but I'm glad the pharmacist was sooo helpful....he really took a lot of time and made sure I knew all the tricks to help me deal with this.
So yeah......I've worked my stomach muscles so much so far with this pregnancy that I'm not the least bit sore from all the barfing this last time around....my throat doesn't hurt....nor does my stomach....however my eyes do hurt....not only because they are TIRED but because they feel like they are going to POP out of my head from all that barfing I did last night....and the night before....and the night before....and the night before.....need I go on........11 in one night though....so far that's the record.....and I mean.....each time was many heaves.......oh the agony!!!!!
Come on second trimester....I'm waiting for you :)

oh the pain

oh the agony....I can't stop this horrible pain in my belly....I can't stop throwing up....I can't stay still from all the pain I'm in.....I am in so much pain.

Make this first trimester be over already. I am so DONE throwing up. Done.
I feel so sick. So sooooo sick right now.....I wish I could have been one of the pregnant chicks who never got morning sickness...............why is it called morning sickness for gods sake...it's 10:23 at night....and I had to leave class tonight becuase the wonderous "preggie pop" did nothing for my nausea what so ever...and I just knew there was barf abrewing in there....so I chose to come home and deposit it in my own clean toilet...not a nasty college stall......thankyouverymuch......i've now deposited 4 (so far) "loads" of projectile madness in that toilet.....and I don't feel an end in sight yet......I can tell you there is more in there waiting to burst out....and that is why my stomach is still killing me.

I could cry right now from this pain