Belly pics take 2!

Here are my 36 week belly shots taken yesterday just before heading out the door to the docs...



and to compare :)



There was a +3 in my urine test yesterday at the docs...so I'm doing another 24 hour urine catch...

I gained 3 pounds since the last visit...as opposed to the 6 I had lost at the visit before this....it's mostly swelling though (water)

I got more blood work done...they said it was acceptable...

Got my usual ultrasound as well...she wasn't really doing anything at the time...she was sleeping I think....but everything in there looks good...

My blood pressures were 150/101....wait 15 minutes next pressure was 135/100...wait 15 minutes next pressure was 135/95....

Doctor says if there is still a high amount of protein in my urine with this latest 24 hour catch she wants to induce me today because of it...if the levels turn out to be under 300 then she said we will schedule my induction at my next visit with her which is on Wednesday the 29th in the meantime I have several more appts. for what they call the biophysical NST's which is what I've been going to three times a week so far....

We shall see...

Now if only I could stop throwing up...I'm trying to drink/eat for this urine catch thing....to actually make some pee....but of course....since I'm me....I just keep throwing it all up.....

Belly pic

Even though the pic is now old....here is my belly at 34 weeks....I'm almost 36 weeks now...but I never got around to posting this.....

I was making the stupidist face on the planet so I had to fix it with a better face! hahahahaha

Another day down

I had an OB visit yesterday and she sent me off to the hospital to get an NST after I was done there....my pressure was 'alright' at the appt. and my swelling is doing good...I have lost another 6 pounds since last week from the barfing....I really thought at this stage of the game the loss of weight would slow down...since the baby is gaining weight at a rapid weight in late pregnancy....the doctor wasn't too pleased with the large amount of loss I had this week....and has advised that I take a higher dose of zofran and has given me protonix to keep my acid levels down as well....so we'll see.....

After the OB appt. I went over to the hospital (it's across the street from the OB's office) But I drove....because dammit I'm supposed to be on bedrest! hahhaha....

Anyway....I did the NST....it was good....but I was contracting a lot....nothing new there...I've been contracting a lot for a long ass time now and it's not doing anything...so that's that....but I did have to stay there and wait for 3 flipping hours because my blood pressure was too high for them to feel comfortable sending me home....so I turned on the TV and watched the history channel and got on my left side...and waited for some good blood pressure readings........tooooook forever...but in the meantime I was given another ultrasound...little homegirl had "good respitory effort" and I could see her chest going in and out as she 'practiced breathing' that was cool.....shortly after she was done practicing her breathing...she got hiccups....hee hee....the tech was looking at the placenta and I said....I think she has the hiccups now....so she panned back over to her chest/belly area...and sure enough....she was bouncing with each hiccup....it was cool to see! The placenta looks 'good and healthy still' that's always a good thing! And, baby is said to weigh around 5 pounds....but she said that's 'give or take 12 ounces' so we'll see...I go back on Friday for another NST and another ultrasound....it's exciting to see her so much...even if it is in black and white! Anyway....after 3 hours I did finally manage to bust out three 'good' blood pressures....by 'good' I mean....not 'normal' but good for this stage of the game....not high enough to provoke an induction...and low enough that being on my side is still helping....I beleive the lowest reading was 132/92 which is much better than what I've been getting....so yeah....I'm home...on my side.....I was timing my contractions last night...they were a steady 8 minutes apart....for about 4 hours....and then I fell asleep! Obviously those were nothing...if I fell asleep....though they did hurt worse than any other contractions I've had so far.....and they were shooting down my legs....that's never happened before either....they hurt! But they are random and sporatic again today just like normal so I'm not worried...I'm just trying to bake this little lady until at least 36 weeks! That's just a few more days really....then I won't be so scared if I did have to get induced...or go into labor naturally....I'd LOVE to get to 37 weeks.....we'll see if that can happen! If I make it to 37 weeks she might be born on hubbys birthday :) He thinks that would be neat :)

November 14th 2005

It was November 14th one year ago....that I had the worst day of my life.

It was this day one year ago that we lost our first pregnancy...

On that day one year ago....I felt so alone...so empty...so betrayed by my body...and it was hard to believe at the time that I could ever heal from something so devistating.

I remember the bleeding that accompanied the miscarriage....it was a constant reminder of how my body failed me....I hated the bleeding....but the part that hurt the worst (not physically) was when I actually 'passed' the pregnancy....I was in the bathtub...I remember....my husband was in the bathroom...we had just gotten back from an ultrasound that showed we would be miscarrying anytime...as the baby had no heartbeat...I remember looking down in the tub...and seeing 'it'....I saw but couldn't bring myself to look....I screamed at my husband IS THAT WHAT I THINK IT IS?!?!?!?!?!

We both knew what the mass was.....he kindly scooped it up.....and didn't make me look at it.....he wrapped it up in some tissues I remember that.....and 'pieces' kept coming out for about a half an hour....until it was just blood.....I bleed for a couple weeks....I remember crying so hard....I thought I would pass out....I couldn't beleive how horribly mad I was at my body. I was in such agony over the loss....

We wanted that baby....I remember feeling like such an idiot for telling our family we were pregnant....I later came to realize it was actually a good thing...because all the family I had told were the same ones who were right there for me when I needed them.

Today one year later....I'm happy to be expecting a little baby any day now...and time has healed the bitter feeling I had towards my body.

still here

Apperently my lack of posts for a couple days has people worried :)

I'm still here....still pregnant...and still very much on bedrest....

Our latest NST was passed with flying colors....my pressures remain down...and my protein was at a reasonable +1 at the visit....so I was cleared to continue to bake my baby :)

I'm off to an OB visit shortly so I must get ready....

Just wanted to let ya'll know I'm still here...still baking...and still being a good little bedresting girl....trying to keep this little bun in her oven as long as possible!

I'm excited I'm 35 weeks today! Yay! Everyday that passes is better than if she was born 'yesterday'!

Ok I must go get ready for my appt....I'm sure the doctor would appreciate it if I showered! hahahhaa

Once again....

Well I'm home once again....I only managed to stay out of the hospital for one day!

However...I'm once again stable....and still baking this baby :)

I have to go back every couple days to be checked/monitored....but for now I'm doing good....and that is a releif.

I feel very safe with the doctors care...and she is monitoring me and the baby very closely....I feel very safe...and that is good.

I had to go back to the hospital because the pressures were just WAY too high again...and it was consistent for the entire day I was home from the hospital...my Husband called and they wanted me back right away....as the blood pressure was 176/124 at the time.....pretty much not a good thing! The babys heart rate was also being affected...and was extremely high...once I was strapped on the monitors...the doc was very worried about the baby as her heart rate was staying over 200 and that is not a good thing....finally though with me getting the help for my pressures...her heart rate began to come back down to her normal 145-150 but it took about an hour...and I was told we had about 15 more minutes of "waiting" before they were just going to get this over with....luckily though...she decided to cooperate...and is still safe and sound in my belly :)

My pressures are still "high" but nothing on what they've been...usually around 150/95 area....which is much better than what they've been! I'm spilling protein in my urine...and continue to have the headache/blurry vision....however it's not as bad as it was when my pressures were so high....so that's good.

I go back for an NST/blood work/pressure check/and all that good stuff to the hospital on Sunday...and then a 'normal' ob visit happens again this coming Monday afternoon.

I'm feeling good knowing if I just stay on my side it keeps my pressures down to a more 'reasonable' level....as the whole situation is the baby is putting so much pressure on the artery in my back that it's what's causing me to have such high blood pressure....so as long as I prop myself to the side...I'm able to stay stable...

I'm still contracting...but it's obviously not doing anything...they just hurt and go away....at this point they have no rhyme or reason....so that's that....

I'm glad to be home...it's not fun listening to all the women in labor SCREAMING their heads off in pain...because I know soon enough that is going to be me....kind of scary to just lay there and listen to it....I cried a couple times listening to the women giving birth....well the labor part....I just could feel the sheer pain from the loud wretched screams that they were doing...I felt so bad....but it was always sooooo neat to hear the last scream from the mom.....and then hear the scream from the baby that was just pushed out....that was cool.

So anyway....being home feels good....Hubby is taking care of me like a good little man :) He sure has been so wonderful during this whole ordeal.....I just love that man! And let me tell you....I know he loves me....he has been nothing but wonderful this whole time....but then again...he's always been really good to me....I know I'm so lucky to have him....my family is all telling me how wonderful my Husband is too...my Mother especially....she's so cute with him....she loves him so much....and is very appreciative he's here and taking such good care of me. :) That's my darling....he's always such a nice little darling :)

My Uncle who suffered the heart attack while I was in the hospital the first time passed away last night....it was expected....as he never became conscious after the heart attack...and was on life support....once the support was stopped he passed away a couple hours later....so that's sad...but I had a while for it to sink in...and knew it was coming....when he had the heart attack it was a shock...but I knew he wasn't doing well....and now he's not in pain...and has moved on...and I'm at peace with that....the nice thing was that all the family was there by his side as he took his last breaths....so that was good for them they said to be there....I was still in the hospital so I wasn't there....but I told them I didn't want to do that...I don't want to remember him that way....I want to remember him living....so that's what I chose.

Just thought I'd update here...and let you all know what's going on....

Everything has changed!

I was just released from the hospital after 3 days...I was deemed severely pre-eclamptic and have been through the ringer these past 4 days.

I wasn't feeling so well the other day...I was feeling this headache that wouldn't go away....I started to feel dizzy...and was seeing double...and decided "something" wasn't right...I decided to take my blood pressure here at home....what do you know....it was 154/117 I waited 10 minutes and took it again....still no change....and so we called the doc....and were instructed to get to L&D STAT! We rushed to my hospital....I was hooked up to this that and the other....IV'S were TRIED to be started....that's another story alllll it's own....I'll have Hubby take some pics of my 'battle wounds'....let's just say 19 holes later........I was receiving Magnesuim sulfate...and was immidiatly given beta methadone for the baby's lungs development.

I was at this point still in my 33rd week of pregnancy and the docs were VERY concernced as I was doing what was called clonus (sp) with my reflexes....I was told the only option at the point was delivery....as my life was now in the balance. My pressures were still going up...and they told me I was about to start seizing...I was at my 'small town' hospital in which we intended on delivering our baby....but it is not equipped to handle early births....so I was transffered via ambulance with lights...sirens...the whole shabang to the best hospital around....and my care was continued once I got there....

I was monitored closesly....at the first hospital contractions were 7 minutes apart....but by the time I was rushed to the second hospital....my bp was still rising....and contractions had become so regular they were two minutes apart they lasted that way for hours....I was not to move....I was still on the mag sulfate drip...and was waiting to hopefully be able to get that second dose of beta methazone for the baby lung development with in another 24 hour period...

Again....nothing was helping....I was "really sick" as I was told...and the doctors wanted to get the baby out of me ASAP....because I was still contracting....and my pressures were still sky high....I was to do nothing but lay in a darkened room...on my side....being monitored....and not even do so much as talk....I slept....

When I woke up my pressures had gone down a bit...that was a good thing....they were still HIGH...but not as high as before...so the mag sulfate was helping....I was unable to get out of bed...so I had to use a bed pan to go pee....(an experience) and was checked for dialation....the baby was given an ultrasound to check for fetal weight....she was weighing in at 4 lbs. 13 ounces and is for sure a girl :) My family got to see the ultrasound...so that was neat for them. I didn't see it....I was out of it....plus I couldn't see as I was practically blinded with double/tripple...blurry vision from the pre-eclampsia topped with the medicine I was one to help combat what was going on!

That night the pressures started to go lower....I made it though the night...and to the following day to receive the 2nd beta methazone shot for little homegirls lungs...and they were hoping to get 24 more hours outta me to 'cook' her to get that stuff to work on her lungs....then get her out....

after the second dose of that I was doing good for a while....but then again...a turn for the worse....I was once again doing the clonus (sp) with my reflexes and everyone was asked to leave...including my Husband....as once again my life was on the line....my pressure was going way up again....and the doctor was called....not sure what they did....it's kind of blurry....as I was really drugged at this point...and plus out of it from just being so sick.....

I just know they were able to get me under control after quite some time....(it was several hours) and I was again resting....'cooking' the baby....

After that episode....my pressures continued to stay down and I was in better shape....They've stayed down now for 24 hours...and I was released to come home late last night to do nothing but have "BRP" Bath room privelges. We are monitoring my pressures hourly...and they are stable....we go back to the doc today at 11, and will discuss what is happening from here....she might come tonight....she might come next week....they aren't sure....the contractions stopped all together yesterday....from some meds they gave me....but I do feel them back again today....My hubby went to work for a couple of hours....as he was on a business trip and had JUST gotten back when this all happened so he hasn't been in the office and just needed to get a couple things done....I'm here...and doing well for the moment...all my family is in town...and if I need anyone at anytime while he's gone....I have someone here to help.....
because as if alllllll that wasn't enough....while *I* was in the hospital...my Uncle suffered a massive heart attack yesterday and is in the same hospital I was in, in ICU.....not looking too good for him....so all my family was at the hospital...with me....and him....it was scary.....

Anyway....like I said...we go to the doc today at 11....we're going to see what's going on.....I might be having this baby today....or if they can....they want to see if with nothing but bathroom breaks if I can get to 35 weeks.......if my BP will behanve itself....it's been behaving for about 24 hours now....so that's good....

But it can change SO FAST....so no one's leaving my side just yet.....I'm still here....still pregnant...(for the moment) and have been through THE RINGER these past 4 days! my arms look like I've been beaten.....I never thought I'd be in the back of an ambulance....never thought that in a milllllllion years!

........seriously people........I was just not made for pregnancy I tell you!!!!!

There you go....just wanted to update ya'll.....I'm going to continue with my doing nothing.....(Im in bed on my laptop typing this so don't worry I'm not being naughty and getting up) but I'm going to resume my "no stimuli" until hubby gets home in a couple hours...and we go to the doc and see what we do from here....

I can't beleive it's November

I can't beleive this baby is due "NEXT MONTH" wowsers.

Even though it still feels like an eternity away when I'm throwing up...and in wretched pain from the stomach tossing and churning that goes along with the whole throwing up thing....when I'm not in pain...it seems like it's going to be tomorrow!

But those moments are few and far between! I've had a hard time these past few weeks...the hyperemesis has in this third trimester gone back to feeling like I'm back in my first trimester...where I just can't catch a break....I'm constantly throwing up...and I've become scared to eat because I know it just means it's more to throw up....not that 'not eating' makes me not throw up...because if it's not food I'm throwing up it's a bunch of yellow acid that burns my throat to no end.

Yesterday I had to throw up but all that kept coming out was blood....It's not uncommon to throw up blood with this 'illness' but I haven't done it all that much...and for a whole 'barf session' to consist of nothing but blood was a bit scary....but that's what it was. I think my throat and innards are just so hurt by the constant feeling of acid...burning....and throwing up that it's making my innards bleed worse than they have before.

I've really come to hate the night time...I can never sleep. I have wretched pains in my tummy from my tummy 'making another batch' all night long....it's hard to get any sleep...I've really started to dread the sun going down as a result. Sad huh.
I can't even drink water when I'm thirsty at night because it comes right back up....and I just hate throwing up so much....gah......................I hope after I'm done being pregnant I never have to barf again in my life.

I've been having a lot of BH contractions the past few days....having one at this very moment.....and I've been getting these sharp shooting pains in my groin/ovary area....shrug to what they are...but they make me jump in pain every time I get them.

There are some days I just want to drop myself down the stairs from the pain...and others where it's not 'so bad' it's not neat....I'm ready for this to be over...I'm ready to stop being depressed about being sick...and lonely...and scared to eat...drink...I'm just ready.

I'm ready to never do this again!